Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini
by justaclassicgirl
Summary: Harry and Hermione get up to some summer shenanigans in the backyard. Not as dirty as it sounds, I promise.


I haven't written a new HP story in ages. And while I really should be updating Maid Mione, I entered another competition. Whoops. :P

So here's this. It's one of my few attempts at humor, and I think it went well.

~justaclassicgirl

* * *

It was precisely 93 degrees Fahrenheit (I'm from America and am too lazy to do conversions, sorry!) in Britain.

"I want to go to the beach."

Hermione sighed. "Harry, we live nowhere near a beach."

"It is the ONE DAY that it happens to be ninety degrees (more author laziness!) in Britain, and I'll be damned if I don't get some sunshine and water time!" he said, gulping down a glass of lemonade in a futile effort to stay cool.

She sighed again. "You know, we could just stay inside. With the air conditioning. Where it's NICE. Or even in the yard with fans, but there is NO WAY we are going to the beach. Our car's air conditioning is broken, we can't apparate because WE'VE NEVER BEEN TO A BEACH AROUND HERE, and I will NOT drive around in a sweltering car-What are you thinking about?"

He grinned slyly. "Oh, nothing, I just had an idea."

"As long as it doesn't involve me, you can do whatever you want," she muttered, picking up a book and walking out of the kitchen.

* * *

"Hermiiiiiiiiiiiione!" a singsongy voice called from the backyard.

"What is it?" she snapped, standing up from her place in a chair that had been dragged directly in front of the air conditioner. "What have you gotten yourself into this time?"

"You have to come outsiiiiiiiiiiiiide!" sang Harry.

She groaned, yet obeyed, and staggered outside, wiping the sweat from her brow. "WHAT DO YOU- Oh!"

Harry had conjured (she assumed) a sort of pool, and there was enough startling yellow sand all around it to make it sort of a mini-beach. The pool water lapped at the sand like tides at an actual beach, coming in and out, in and out. Real palm trees sprouted from the ground. He'd dragged out the beach chairs from the depths of the basement and cleaned them off, and they'd been positioned under some of the palm trees. Sand toys that Hermione didn't know why they had were scattered all over the fake beach.

"Did you do all this?" Hermione gasped.

"Amazing what you can do with a wand and some creative thinking!" he replied, smirking. "Now why don't we change into our bathing suits, so we can enjoy all this?" He gestured to the backyard beach.

Harry had never seen Hermione run so fast on such a hot day.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, Hermione was running excitedly towards the water. Harry followed more slowly, laughing at her childlike enthusiasm.

She did a very fast cannonball, and all Harry could see of her was a flash of her yellow and red polka-dot bikini. A few minutes later, she came up spluttering, her brown hair hanging in limp snakes around her face. "It's salty!" she complained, wiping her eyes.

"Well, I had to be accurate. It is a beach, after all!"

"It stings," she moaned, trudging slowly out of the pool/mini ocean.

When she climbed out at last, she was still wiping her eyes, and he felt bad about not warning her of the salt for a second. But then she bent down quickly, grabbed a nearby red plastic bucket, scooped up some salty pool water, and flung it in his face.

"Agh!" Harry yelled, flailing about with his arms. "That does sting!"

She laughed. "See how it feels?" she joked.

He didn't get a chance to reply, because she pushed him in right after, collapsing on the hot sand and dissolving into peals of laughter.

"HERMIONE JEAN GRANGER, I'M GOING TO GET YOU!" he yelled when he emerged finally and made his way onto the sand.

"No you're not!" she yelled back, and began to run around the sandy backyard. He roared loudly and began to chase her, and she squealed and ran faster. But both of them had huge smiles on their faces.

Finally, Hermione began to tire. But she saw that Harry was gaining on her, and she did the only thing she could.

She jumped in the pool.

Only, she hadn't taken into account how much better of a swimmer he was than her.

Harry jumped in after her and swam quickly, gaining speed. Soon, Hermione was only an arm's length away from him, and he reached out to grab her by the back of her bikini.

His hand closed around the back of it.

He pulled.

And it was then that the yellow and red polka-dot bikini came undone.

Harry was now left with the skimpy piece of fabric in his hand, and Hermione's chest was now left completely exposed.

They both froze.

And then, a maniacal grin spread across his face, and he ran out of the pool, her bikini in hand.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" she screeched, her arms crossed to hide her breasts. "COME BACK WITH MY BIKINI THIS INSTANT!"

Harry cackled, "No way!" and ran towards the house.

"HARRY!"

He turned around.

Seeing Hermione so angry, standing there in the pool without a top, her arms crossed firmly over her chest, was just the funniest sight to him for some reason, and he bent over with laughter.

"This ISN'T FUNNY!" she screeched, and began to march out of the pool, her arms still firmly crossed.

"Uh-oh," he muttered, seeing what was coming.

But she then dropped her arms from her chest, and his lower jaw practically smacked the floor. He hadn't...gotten much lately, with the heat and all. So he was dumbstruck for a moment.

And then, she began to run towards him, arms outstretched. "GIVE IT BACK!"

And then, Harry's brain began to work again, and he stuck his tongue out at her and ran as fast as he could, laughing all the way.

* * *

If anyone happened to peek over the fence surrounding the backyard of one house in Godric's Hollow, they would have seen a very odd sight:

A small beach, but a beach nonetheless, with real palm trees and golden yellow sand and a small, cerulean blue pool;

A raven-haired man running around the yard, a yellow and red polka-dotted bikini top in his hand;

And an angry, dripping wet, bare-chested brunette chasing said man all around the sandy backyard while wearing only a yellow and red polka-dotted bikini bottom.

And yet, anyone who looked at them could see the sparkle and twinkle in each of their eyes, and could say for sure that the two of them were in love, regardless of what they happened to be doing right then-

"HARRY, GET BACK HERE!"

"NOT A CHANCE!"

* * *

The End

So what did you think? Please review!


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